Creating and maintaining meaningful
relationships with your in-laws can be critical to the success of your
marriage. The first thing that needs to happen is for the newly married couple
to leave their parents and cleave unto each other. When a couple marries they
have now created a new family unit that needs to be nourished. Part of that
includes the newly married couple creating a marital identity. The first step is to separate themselves from
the family they grew up with and share everything about themselves with each
other. A new couple needs time to adjust to their new life without the
intervention of their parents. Parent’s can stay close to their children but
shouldn’t intervene in their child’s new phase of life. Parents should be
encouraging their child to discuss the problems and concerns with their spouse
and not them.
Next
a new couple needs to realize that there will be differences and accept that.
Yes, marrying into a family that is different from yours or has different
values can be challenging. Try to exercise patience, demonstrate humor.
Overlook small irritations, and look for the positive. One positive look can be
that the children-in-law will be bringing new perspectives into the family, and
they could learn from the differences. And one important thing to remember is
that any new spouse needs to be included in the extended family. They need to
feel accepted and not like an outcast. No one likes feeling that way in his or
her family. This can be a major cause of marital conflict at the beginning of a
marriage. During this new stage of being a newly wed couple the parent also
need to realize that they also need to make adjustments that may not always be
comfortable. Try to be inclusive and get to know your in-laws or
children-in-laws better, make an active effort to bring them into your family.
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